Lie or Truth?

Lie or Truth?

Overloaded with different thoughts after that message, I was heading to the meeting point. The first couple hours of the trip, I was confident and pretty relaxed. But when the bus was approaching to X city, the cold shiver fell down on me: guilty or innocent, devil or an angel, lie or truth..?

Despite his recently cold behavier to me, he met me with a happy smile. The way to the cottage was so nice, he was in a good mood and very attantive, he looked happy and calm. Everything in him was telling me that the anonymous message is nothing but a lie. I decided not to say anything about the message for a while, I wanted to observe if anything will pop up. But within 2 days nothing did. He cared so much, making sure I feel well.

After 2 days, I could not hold my doubts any longer and I asked him if he had any crazy ex-girlfriends. First, he replied: No! Then, he said that there was one. I showed the message. He refered to his exgirlfriend, who still tries to contact him all possible ways, although he blocked her on all social media. At some point, she was asking money from him and she got pissed when he did not give it to her. As a result, she texted me to revenge. That was his explanation. Could be true.. But I have never heard of her before, although they were in serious relationships and she even moved to him when he lived abroad.

Several month ago, my current boyfriend asked almost everything about my ex boyfriends, like: How serious were the relationships? How we met? How long dated and why broke up? I never had any dirty stories in my closet, so I was speaking about it openly. In return, I asked him the same questiones, and he told me only about one woman. That ‘crazy’ girl never was mentioned.

It made me very confused, it was so double standarded. He wanted to know everything about me, but he himself was hiding something… As such, I never cared of his past, it does not matter for me as long as we love each other. But can anything in the PRESENT be hidden from me..?

He did not comment on the content of the message which clearly contained some facts like being engaged and having women in several cities. Reading the message over again, I felt, that anonym did not reveal everything and there is more to come…



Awakening Sings?

I still can not stop thinking of that anonymous message. Now I am recollecting all the suspecious or strange things which ever occurred in these relationships..

Looks at other woman.. It was odd and even hurtful when he looks at other women in my presence. Yes, men do that, and there is nothing wrong about it in general, but in this case he turns his head almost to every passing woman. If he does in my presence, what happens when I am not there…? I tied to supress that poisonous thought and talked to him about this. He said that it is just my imagination. Indeed, it could easily be, but for some reason I have had this feeling in my previous relationships.

Female hair.. At the very beginning of our relationship, I noticed female hair in his apartment. I was pretty calm about it as that can be ramainings from the past. In addition, he is a typical guy who will hardly clean every corner of the house. From time to time, I was finding female hair of different colors.. I said him about it, he reacted in a very negative way getting offended how I can even think that way and not trust him.

Instagram… There, people follow what they want and you hardly can take it seriously, but.. in his follow list there are mainly local women from near by cities who post their rather provocative selfies. Women are also much yonger then he is…

Separately, thes issues can just be a coincidence and they are simply not worth worrying about. However, all together it is like a mozaik or puzzle, which you put together and crown it all with the message about cheating… we get quite an interesting picture..

For some reason, I am very calm about it all. I do not want judge and suspect him.. or I am simply on the denial stage when I refuse to see obvious things.


An Anonymous Message

An Anonymous Message

Today was an ordinary morning, I woke up early to go to the gym before work. When I was about to leave home, I put on headset searching for a good song to listen. Then, I noticed a message sent via a social media. I was reading it, and the shiver was slowly spreading over my body, I became dizzy. An anonymous person was informing me that my boyfriend is a cheater and he has had many women in different cities telling them fairy tales about his life and promising to marry.That person also named those cities and seemed to be quite updated with some life facts. Anonym was stating that she/he has a mutual friend with my boyfriend and this is how she/he learnt about our relationship. I stood paralysed with shock, I could not move…

Later that day, I decided to write an email to that person asking who s/he is, and what his/her motives are. Needless to say that the email was fake and my message was rejected by the system.

The situation is the following: my boyfriend lives in another city and at this moment we have long distance relationship, meeting once in 2-3 weeks. Soon, he is moving to the same city where I live. He was very attentive sending million messages and calling 2-3 times per day. That’s why I felt that he is serious about me. I also met his parents and yes.. we were talking about engagement… Like any couple, we had ups and downs, but nothing really suspicious really came out.

I always was very strict about faithfulness. I was never naive about this aspect as I saw many people around either cheating or suffering from it significantly. I have never cheated in my life, and, like all of us, I do not want to be cheated. That’s why we discussed this issue from the very beginning, and fully agreed on it. I was very pleased to hear that he was serious for relationship and his attitude to cheating was strongly negative. This converstation ussured me that we are both the same track.

A week ago my boybriend became a bit cold in his messages and talks. I did not pay much attantion to this because it can be simple tiredness or some work problems. After all, we are all humans and can simply have a bad day. Surprisingly for me, he did not really speak about Easter holidays. When I asked him what our plan is, he was quite unsure. This was probably the first time when I got worried… He said that he wants go to the north to ski (he usually skis for several hours), and it is better that he will go there alone. The arguments were that I hate cold and skiing, a cottage is also located in the forest and there is not much to do for me. That was all true, but after long breaks we had, I was very disappointed to hear that.

When I got that anonymous message, I decided not to tell him for now. Instead, I texted him that I do not want to argue, I respect his hobbies and that he should go. He replied that in a very cold tone that I should get the ticket we are going north… At the beginning, I wanted to stay home and collect my thoughts. Then, I decided to join him because the message does disturb my mind, and I want to solve the issue and not to sit here puzzled..

Now, I have million questions: Who was that anonym? What were the intentions of that person? and the main.. Is it all true?

Is it one of jealous ex’es who is pissed that his life going so smoothly without her?

Or.. Is it a secret friend who is doing me a favor…?