It was around Christmas. I met a foreign man who was visiting his grandparents for Christmas. The first impression I got was nice. He was tall, good-looking, nice manners in a good shape, although he did not work out.
We went out and this pleasant impression was gone. He turned out to be super unconfident. I really like when people are a bit shy and nervous on the first day, it means the person takes it seriously. But full unconfidence is different. He took closed poses, and pretty soon he started talking that he is not really success, that some people are making fun of him.
All I felt was sadness. I hate people who bring others down, in his case including mother. Do they even understand that they possibly ruin the life of the people they bully?
On the other hand, I know many people who were hardly popular at school, but got their sh#t together and now they are doing really well, actually better than those who bullied them. But this guy seemed not to be able to break the circle. Sad…
I felt lost in this case. He was very nice, but will his wound let him live normally? or has “being a victim” became his comfort zone?
At the end, I decided to stay away. Why? I guess it is not possible to change a person who is 35 years old. and I believe changing anyone is initially so wrong.