I resisted! Well… I am lying. He just went back to his city, and this saved from a mistake. I would have felt worse after that. Enough self-destruction!
Friday evening. I am home alone with my crazy thoughts. It is exactly one of those moments when I start thinking a lot and it goes all wrong way. I haven’t had these moments for a long time. My leg is not fine, it is not recovering. I have to take care of it, so that it is fine, to look at its size, color, temperature. I am scared like small children are, but they have their mummy next to them to say that everything will be alright.
I can call to my mom via skype, but I don’t want to. Then, I will have to tell her that I am not fine. She will ask why and how it happened. And I don’t want to tell how, I don’t want to worry her. She will be so worried that it will only make me feel worse and more scared. I know it sounds strange, but my mom always strengthen my feelings. It is good when I am happy, but when I am scared or depressed, it doesn’t help.
I blame myself in what has happened to me. I just hope it is a good lesson, and I will recover soon! Only getting in these kind of troubles, when I just sit at home (I hardly can walk) and worry, I realised what a great life I had, I could go to work, to do food shopping, go the the bank, post office. It is a real happiness! I know it sounds strange. We are tired of those things, we hate them. But I changed my mind now. Those thing are real life, yes, hectic, but it is happiness just to walk…
I want to share the lesson I just learnt! The life is great, and the most important thing is heath! Never complain as long as you are healthy, and you can afford to buy at least bread!