I did not write anything for a while. You remember about my leg trauma, new commitments for being healthy both physically and psychologically, and staying for several months in another country.

My leg is so much better, almost recovered, although with some remarks.

I am in my favourite country, like I planned. I was so happy be here!

I was happy for a while…  I am getting bored… I am tired of being a good girl… I am bored… I am afraid to loose control and get wild again.

But I nee adrenaline in my blood… I am so scared of that feeling. It can bring me back to that broken and self-distractive state.  It will for sure. Will I be able to resist?


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