The first day away felt very empty. It was this scary silence which is so heavy. I did not want to hear the voices in my head which were very evil to me and my feeling. I tried to go to bed as early as possible.

The other 2 days went really well, I was at the beach, doing sightseeing, I was very busy with anything else but thinking of the situation with Luno.

The last 2 days of the trip I spent close to the home town of Luno. And… by chance… he was there those days with his brother-in-law. only 30 minutes drive from me.

My head became heavier than before… I tried to do sightseeing, but it was difficult to consentrate. He was so close, and he did not want to meet… well, he said that he would invite me to join, but as I want to be on my own for now, he respects it, and the next day when he drives back he will pick me up.

Yes, this meant that he gonna go to the party on that Saturday night with his friends, and I will be so close to him and alone… I still did not want to see what was going on…

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