Close to an End?

Things started going really strange after my question if we are a BF and a GF. He became mean… It was unbearable… He was hurting me and he knew what he was doing. He did it on purpose.

He could say that he misses me, and that he does not care and he says it because people fall for this sh#t…

I started going out with friends more and he stopped being the only person i was in touch. He started calling me a wh#re every time spent time with my friends.

I could not reply anything on that. I was suffering silently. I was too weak to react, I was too small and humilated to reply…

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Are We a Boyfriend and a Girlfriend?

Are We a Boyfriend and a Girlfriend?

We came to his place, he carried out my lugguage to his place. I knew I needed to ask him about our status. I was scared, I gave myself 5 minutes more, then 5 minutes more. It was 30 minutes of time. I am still afraid, maybe because deep inside I knew the answer, I did not want to hear..

me – Are we a boyfriend and a girlfriend?

he – (silence)

me – People ask me if i have a boyfriend, and I dont know what to reply

he – you can reply whatever you want

me – and so?

he – well, you want me to be your boyfriend? (looking at me happily)

me – yes

he- you know, it is too soon to talk about it.  and i am not sure what i want at this stage.

Very clear answer which i ignore. Luno was very good at communication, he smoothed the awkward moment and made the situation chill and relaxed again..

And we ended up having the closest moment ever… in bed…

Shocking Change

Shocking Change

He drove me home. When we arrived, he said that next time is my turn to invite him. He said it with some embarrassment.

Next day, I asked if he wants to meet. He agreed, which was obvious. I guess, I asked too soon. I never was good at love games. If I want to see someone, I am cristal clear.

We were supposed to go to one of the most expensive restaurants in the city, I put on the best dress I had.

He arrived… in T-shirt, beach sleepers and shorts. I was pretty much shocked as it was Saturday night and we were going to one of the best restaurants… I was speechless.

It got even worse. He said that I must feel really terrible now because I am overdressed..

It was getting worse… We still had time before our reservation, so we decided to go for a walk. The things he was talking was a pure nonsense. something like me and my female friend want to rent a huge apartment so that we can have people around  and rent rooms as AirB’n’B. WHAAAAAAAAT? The man of 40 is telling this? Mid-age crisis.

I felt shitty, but still I did not leave… What an idiot? No self-respect at all!!!!!

During the dinner, he was acting like an absolute a#shole. He was constantly looking at other women, no, not a bit, literary he was staring. At some point, he said that I look like escort…

We finished dinner and went to the roo of the hotel. the mood was horrible, I realised that it is not my man at all, I actually could not believe it was the same man…

We went to the car, there was silence. The mood was ruined. I should have gone home… but I did not! It was the biggest mistake in my life…

We drove to one place which has a great view. He was back, that wonderful man from yesterday was back!!! I was so happy he was back, he was so gentle and nice, fun and hot. We talked and kissed, kissed and talked.

I was happy, I felt great.

It was time to go home, but the car did not start, we tried over and over again, but it was not possible…

He called me a taxi

The Magic Happened

The Magic Happened

We met for the second time. He was very nice and attentive. He was not the most handsome man at all. But his manners were ones of a gentleman. He was smart, with good sense of humour, stylish, and a sporty body, and a good job.

I did not know his age. He avoided telling me. My guess is 37-42. I don’t know, well.. I did not know.

Our dinner was short because he had to go and finish his work before the business trip. He was texting me the whole night so much he wants to see me again. He was telling me how sorry he is our ‘meeting’ was shot.

We met on Friday evening, he came to pick me up for the dinner straight from the airport. He was exhausted, yet, wanted to see me. That was the highlight of our time together, that was the moment when I melted and started having doubts that I should stay away.

He was a gentleman, he did not push me to anything. We just kissed till 4 a.m. at the beach.

Nice Beginning

Nice Beginning

The next day I woke up with the feeling, I should stay away from that man. I had a strange unpleasant after taste. I do not know why, but it did not feel right. At 14 45 he sent me the pictures he took the day before because his camera was better. Just picture and “good day”. We texted a bit and he was so nice and sweet. I still did not buy it for some reason. The next day I texted him that I bought a text book to learn the language of the country I was staying, and he said he wants to see me again either on Tuesday or Weekend. We agreed on Tuesday. I curse the day I agreed…

It All Became Clear

It All Became Clear

It was the second week of our vacation, my boyfriend and I were spending this time together. It was nice, but heavy in a way. We were in his home town, he was doing his hobbies, and I was accompanying him. It was fun, but clearly not my thing. Or my mind was just poisoned with the negative thoughts brought by an anonymous letter. I don’t know what it was.

We had a short trip ahead, and travelling is always a good way to relax and have a good time. Plus, in my case, there was another check point for the relationship. It was summer, we were very lucky with the weather, the food was great, a lot of sightseeing. Simply amazing vacation. And the same engagement scenario like in the previous trip… He was silent about the whole thing… From the very beginning it was just a talk without any meaning, but why to do it? Is it the way to comfort a woman so that she will think it is all serious and he can freely play games behind her back? Or what? What’s the hell!!

We were driving back from the airport, and I was silent, I did not want to talk, and there was nothing left to say. There was still a week of vacation left, which were supposed to spend together. In the car, my boyfriend told me that I should go to my home country (I am a foreigner) and visit my parents. I did not comment on it, I was sure I need to go and think about everything from distance. It was shocking.. and bizarre at the same time because he again was repeating how much he loves me….

I bought the tickets and left.

 

 

 

Another Try to Get Engaged

Another Try to Get Engaged

I could not take silence and laughter as a response. My boyfriend did not look secure anymore. He mumbled. And I simply wanted to know what was happening. I was not afraid to get a negative answer on engagement, it was unawareness which was killing me. Unawareness which was the proof that the anonym was right.

When he was able to speak again, he said that we will get engaged in our next trip, which will take place less than a month. Then, he added: “If we find rings there”. Seriously? Going to a European capital, which can offer basically everything…

Everything was like in a fog, I did not feel the pain, just numb. I clearly saw the way the things were going, I was another one in his list to whom he promised a lot. He was doing this to women, but why? Why would anyone play such games? Problems with self-esteem? Psychological problems? Mental? Or just an as*hole?

On the other hand, nothing changed in our relationship. He still was caring, he saw saying that he loves me. And! We were going to move together in August, he will move to my city! Stop! Things are going really fine, so many nice things are ahead! Oh no… Now I feel bad, there is nothing wrong in our relationship. My boyfriend simply does not want to hurry, or…?