Communication and Feelings After the Trip

Communication and Feelings After the Trip

I woke up on Monday morning really relaxed and I did not care much of him. I was very surprised that he texted me at 11 asking how I am doing, how I slept, of course he used all this kissing smilies. Hmmm… I ready had a concern, and the main ting I was surprised about him texting me as I pretty much thought that it all was an end. But it turned out that it wasn’t.

He asked when we could meet and that he misses me very much. I said Tuesday.

On Tuesday, things were nice. Then, he had a trip for Madrid. I had some strange feeling. No, it was not love or anything close to it, it was some dependence, attachment. Not a good one, more like an addiction to a drug, which makes you feel good but ruins you at the end. Yes, it was that…

I was begging him to meet on Friday, when he is back. I felt he is sleaping away, but I was already addicted…

By the way, I don’t remember if I told you this or not. There was a strange story about his apartment, I will tell more next tim!

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He Became a Sweetheart Again

He Became a Sweetheart Again

Just before leaving the place, he turned out to be in bed. Again, he started telling me strange things:

– This moment was nice, even if it will never repeat again.

What the hell!! Yes, this is the thing you tell to a woman a minute after you were so close. yep.. He continued his marvellous speech

– Ocean, this farm, you, me. All so perfect, the moment. No future, no past. and there wont be any future.

I got super upset with these words. Indeed, we don’t know what gonna happen tomorrow. Indeed, it is very unlikely that we will get married and start a family. Even the fact of being a boyfriend and a girl friend is pretty much under the question, but still… Very strange phrase at the beginning of our communication…

I just decided to think about my work and studies rather than a man whose mood is shifting much more often than mine… And of course, on the way back, he was nice again. He was so caring and attentive, he was holding my hand, kissing me. And I was happy to be with him again.

Bizarre Sunday

Bizarre Sunday

We woke up and went for a walk. When we were back, we got some passion going on. What he said to me was insane:

-So you took condoms. It means that you expected something.

-Well, everything could happen.

-And I did not take at all. I did not expect.

Again, I was a bad person, I expected something, and he is an angel, who did not consider anything happening. It went even more insane:

-How many did you take?

-10. A pack.

-You came to this country to fu’k..

That is exactly what you say when you are in bed with woman who actually takes care of her health… The desire went away.

He continued:

-You are really tight there, young boys gonna be crazy about it, but I am experienced man, I can separate sex and the rest.

I left for my room and fell asleep.

Shifty Mood Weekend

Shifty Mood Weekend

Yes, the morning started from his figures inside.

That was probably the most pleasant moment of the day. We went to the beach, but he was cold and distant, we was far away in his thoughts and I simply did not know what to do and how to react. He was telling me that he wants back to indonesia from where he just return, people are so nice there and everything has soul, not like here. I was pretty much confused as it related in a way to me. It literarily meant I am not good enough. That was a strange moment to experience with a man who put some effort to get you and took for a weekend away.

Things were just getting worse, I really regretted that I did not have a chance to escape because the place was absolutely isolated and I do not drive.

At some point, he completely ignore me. It was tough to handle because there were only 2 people in the house: meĀ and he… There were even some aggressive moments. I was very surprised to see him like that, he turned to me another side.

I was getting tired, and I went to bed. He came to wish me a good night as we still spelt in separate rooms.

And things just happened, our first time was awkward… when everything finished, he said that it happened too soon. Well, we knew each other for 8 months although I was in another country and we spent 2 weeks together before it all happened. Not that soon I guess… Again, because of that small phase I felt bad. Again, I was not good enough. I was a slut, I was an easy girl

Touching me

Touching me

I woke up because he entered the room. I am super low energy in the morning, I slept little and I hardly could open my eyes.

I was under the blanket, he came near, but above the blanket. He kissed me and wished good morning, he said he really liked me without make-up.

It was cold in the room, and he asked if he can get under the blanket. I said no because I did not have panties on. I told it to him.

His hand slided under the blanket, he got under my T-shirt, touching my breast. He slowly was moving down to my belly, he stopped there for a while. Then, his hand continued moving lower…

When he ‘arrived’ there, I was completely wet and I was craving for him to touch me there, inside. He knew that, and he did it. I got crazy. It was amazing to feel his fingers inside. He let me come. He did not ask anything in return, and we left for breakfast.

The First Night of the Trip

The First Night of the Trip

Monday he was pretty cold, he just texted basic things like how are you. Luckily I was busy with some stuff, so I did not have time to think of anything else.

Tuesday, was pretty much the same.

Wednesday, he finally called me. I was happy to hear his voice he was happy to hear mine. I asked him why he did not call, he said that in order to keep me interested, he had to wait for 3 days. That’s the game…

On Thursday, we discussed our trip to the south. He changed the place to go, but I agreed as I never was there before. It was funny that he asked me if I want to be in separate rooms, I said of course! So. he booked a house with separate bedrooms.

Friday, the trip.

He came to pick me up. he looked so delighted, so did I. We talked a lot about personal things, about families we grew up in. It was very intimate. We shared the world. It all looked so right.

We arrived to the house, and… he went to his room, the door was open. He was on his phone, texting. I felt unpleasant. he spent there like that 40 minutes… I did not approach him. I think we was just “increasing his value”, but I am a worth girl, I am not gonna enter his room.

Finally, he came in, he started kissing me. He was very dominant, I hardly could move. I was very scared, yet I knew he will not course me any harm I felt a strange combination of excitement and fear, pleasure and pain. Yet, I had all my clothes on.

It was time to sleep. He came to my room to wish a good night, I was in his embrace till I fell asleep. Then, he left.

Chill Sunday

Chill Sunday

Next day he texted me and apologised for the accident with the car. I did not really care about the car, I was confused with the bipolar behaviour he exposed towards me.

He asked if I am available in the evening, due to my stupidity and unwillingness to play games, I agreed to meet.

He was very nice and warm, very attentive and gentle. We went for a walk in the park, we looked like we are in love, he was holding my hand, hugging me.

I asked him if he will drive me to the south of the country next weekend, he said yes.

He drove me home, in the car, in front of my staircase, he started talking about his favourite movies. Strangely, I felt so disconnected.. I just wanted to end the conversation, to go home…

I was already in bed, checking my Facebook, and I saw he became friends with some woman. He did that before, but this time I had a strange feeling, I had an alert on inside. I felt it is just a beginning of a story…